Greetings Hastings! Let's indulge in the hidden crevices of our town's events, businesses, and deliciously local announcements. Buckle up, get your reading glasses, and let's begin our journey.

Our expedition kicks off at the Dakota County Library, where the pearls of childhood creativity are being strung together into Perler bead necklaces and artisanal jewelry that would make Tiffany's blush. Craft Fairs are the new Coachella here, folks, and our young Da Vincis are hitting the stage all summer long. Get your crafting calendars marked, because this is going to be a tour de force of youthful creativity and library fines!

Next stop on our whistle tour, Edina Realty, where they're playing the role of Bob Barker in a game of "The Price is Right" for a stunning 5.007-acre land in Afton, MN. I see a Monet-like landscape with mature trees and a natural beauty that makes the Mona Lisa look like a doodle. Hurry up, folks, or you might miss out on your "starry night" opportunity!

Let's change pace and visit the Red Wing Cafe, which, as we know, is much more than a cafe - it's a community, an emotion, a raison d'être. Their Stuffed French Toast is the equivalent of culinary poetry. Oh, and don't forget their coloring contests - there's some fierce competition brewing in the Crayola league!

Over at Level Up Games, they're planning a Tolkien-esque fiesta that'll make Bilbo Baggins want to leave the Shire again. This Lord of the Rings celebration has me humming "CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES" as if Kool & The Gang have taken up permanent residence in my brain. Don't forget your MTG Companion App, or you might miss out on the elven promo dice and bag!

While we're on the topic of celebration, Anytime Fitness Hastings is throwing a party for your glutes that makes Mardi Gras look like a Tuesday night knitting club. From Hip thrusts to Glute Kickbacks, they've got a repertoire that'll make your derriere the star of the show. Get that sweat dripping, Hastings!

Before we leave this thrilling festival of fitness, let's swing by The Market Home + Design. Ever dreamed of a showroom sale with floor models and discount prices that make Black Friday look like an antiquated concept? This is your chance!

Now, what’s a tale without some good cheese? And Legacy Cheese is serving up delectable savings on their cheese that make my wallet say "Gouda job!" Get your daily dairy fix with discounts on everything from goat cheese to 14-year-old Cheddar.

A quick shout-out to the martial arts mavens of Morris Martial Arts-Hastings, who are giving the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a run for their money. Their parade was a sight to behold!

Our gastronomic adventure continues at the 2nd Street Depot Bar & Grill. Their Dog of the Week, “The Arizona," is a fusion of spicy and savory that’ll have your taste buds salsa dancing.

Finally, our sojourn ends with the fine folks at Walleye Affliction who just came back from an epic fishing escapade. They're playing coy about their fishing spots, but they're singing praises about the crappie frenzy! Find a weed line and cast away, folks!

And there you have it, folks, a tour of Hastings that makes "Lord of the Rings" look like a jaunt to the corner store. Our quaint little city is full of charm, wit, and an abundance of things to see, do, and eat. As we conclude our tour, remember - there's no place like home, and there's certainly no place like Hastings! Remember to patronize local, have fun, always maintain that cheeky sparkle in your eye. Keep being you, Hastings!

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