Locals, You've Got Mail! And It's Not a Bill or a Jury Summons!

Hey there, Hastings! HastingsNow.com is here to give you the lowdown on what's happening in your neck of the woods.

1. School's Back, Baby!

Ah, the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and the sound of school buses. The City of Hastings Government wants you to remember: don't just stop and smell the roses, stop for school buses too! Kids, teachers, and yes, even you parents, have a great school year. And drivers, keep your eyes peeled like a banana for those kiddos!

2. The Final Curtain Call for Fox Farm Market

Fox Farm Market is opening its doors one last time this season. Richard and Joan are like the Jay-Z and Beyoncé of seasonal shopping, and they're saying goodbye. So, go give them a farewell they won't forget!

3. Barbie's Taking Over Just for Kix!

If you're not signed up for Barbie Inspired DANCE CAMP, what are you doing with your life? Seriously, it's like refusing free cake. So, put on your dancing shoes and get ready to boogie this Saturday!

4. Pet Expo Extravaganza!

The Shane Lanning Agency is hosting its first-ever Pet Expo. It's like Comic-Con but for pets, which is way better. Learn about pet insurance, meet some furry friends, and let your kids go wild with a coloring contest!

5. No Oil Changes, No Problem!

Gerlach Outdoor Power Equipment is selling Toro Recyclers that don't need oil changes. That's right, it's like having a car that doesn't need gas. Well, not really, but you get the point.

6. Shoot Your Shot with Hastings Raiders Basketball

The 2023-24 season is coming up, and they've got a free youth clinic. So, if your kid's got game or just wants to try, this is the place to be. It's like a basketball buffet, but instead of food, you get skills!

7. Point St. Croix Bar: The Schedule Saga

Point St. Croix Marina and Pub has a schedule that's more complicated than my hair in the morning. But don't worry, they've got you covered. Just call Rosi if you have questions. She's like the Gandalf of bar schedules. @Pointstcroixmarinaandpub

8. Crayon-Inspired Shakes at Hastings Raider Nutrition

This week only, get your crayon-colored shakes! And no, they're not made of actual crayons, but they're just as colorful. Check out their back-to-school specials and become the Picasso of protein shakes!

9. Spiral Food Co-op: Cereal Bar Philanthropy

Spiral Food Co-op is donating cereal bars to the Alzheimer's association. It's like feeding your brain and your stomach at the same time. Sign up for their annual walk and make a difference!

10. A Cornucopia at Hastings Farm Market

The Hastings Farm Market is open, and they've got everything from Sweet-I-Dilla's to MN Nice Guy Popcorn. It's like a farmers market on steroids, but the legal kind. Get your fresh produce and artisanal goodies today!

That's All, Folks!

Well, Hastings, it's been real, it's been fun, and yes, it's been real fun. Remember, you're not just a dot on the map; you're a community bursting with life, activities, and yes, even some humor. And remember, if you're not on the LOCAL 10, you're still a 10 in my book. Unless you don't stop for school buses, then you're a zero. Safety first, people!

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