Sunday, June 18th
I always feel like the narrator of a Twilight Zone episode when I do this. It's like, "Imagine, if you will, an ordinary town... Hastings, Minnesota. A place where the skies unfold their beauty, where local businesses thrive, where nature and art intertwine in the most unexpected ways. A place where... llamas are considered a necessary part of your day? Welcome to the Hastings Zone.
We're gonna kick things off with the one thing in this godforsaken world that's more emotionally unstable than I am - the skies of Hastings. You know, the skies that just can't decide if they're gonna be sunny, cloudy, or about to unleash a torrent of rain. But hey, as one local put it, they're "exceptional." Exceptionally indecisive, maybe.
But what's a beautiful sky without a well-curated landscape? Quality Landscape Curbing LLC is on the job, working hard with more dedication than a cat on a laser pointer. They're friendly, professional, and they've got more hashtags than a teenager's Instagram post. They're not just curbing your landscape, they're curbing your life.
You think your garden's lacking something? Zywiec's Garden Center's got you covered. They're tossing out hanging baskets like Mardi Gras beads. Buy 2, get 1 free! But you better hurry because this offer ends quicker than a celebrity marriage.
Meanwhile, the Minnesota Zoo is out here saying we need more llamas. Llamas! Because nothing screams "Minnesota" like a South American camelid. And apparently, we could all drink more water. Hydrate folks, it's important... but llamas?
Ever heard of the Zombie Knitpocalypse? No, it's not when your grandma's knitting club turns into a horde of the undead. It's a knitting event happening in Rochester, and MUSE2320Fiber is introducing their new "Stained Glass, Fiber Friends." If that doesn't get your knitting needles clicking, I don't know what will.
The Bar Draft House is wishing a happy birthday to their bartender, Alix, and their patron, Franko. I bet Franko just walked in for a drink one day and now he's stuck in a story. Happy birthday, Franko!
Cultivate Soap is out here making all-natural body lotion that's creamier than my Aunt Edna's mashed potatoes. If you're washing your hands so much you're starting to feel like Lady Macbeth, this cocoa butter body lotion is for you.
Oak Ridge Assisted Living recently made, and more importantly ate, edible lawnmowers. I repeat, edible lawnmowers. I don't even want to know how they managed that one.
Meanwhile, Ray J's in Woodbury is serving up Sriracha sesame seed crusted ahi tuna. Because who needs regular ahi tuna when you can spice it up with Sriracha? I mean, sure, why not?
And finally, over at Animal Ark, there's a heartwarming tale of two adopted tabby cats, Hope and Chia. They found a forever home together, which is sweet enough to give you cavities.
Well, there you have it folks. A rollercoaster ride through the top ten happenings of Hastings. You know, it's kind of like life. One moment you're admiring the skies, the next you're eating an edible lawnmower. It's a wild ride, but hey, at least we're all in it together.
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